★★★★★
★★★★★
I was feeling down this past winter but after a while realized maybe it was depression. I felt bleak, hopeless, almost grieving. I felt like the future was empty. It was an ugly feeling. Then I began to suspect maybe it was physical / nutritional because I have a great marriage to a man I love who treats me like gold, I have two healthy children and I have a good life with many hobbies and interests. I take good care of my health, eat nutritious organic food - much of it we grow ourselves, and I make time for gratitude every day, but I was STILL DOWN IN THE DUMPS. I realized I might have low vitamin D as it was winter here in the Northeast (Pennsylvania). I started taking D3 (with Vitamin K2 and Magnesium with Calcium for absorption etc) and within a day or two was feeling better. I kept feeling better and better every day and I NEVER FELT DOWN AGAIN. That awful CLOUD OVER MY HEAD disappeared and thank God it didn't come back! Boom! Just like that. I took 3000 IU per day, and now am down to 2,000. In summer I don't need it. I don't wear sunscreen, my skin is olive and doesn't burn. Anyway, it made me wonder how many poor souls out there are suffering needlessly due to low D. Just wanted to share my experience.
★★★★★
First, again Lilac you have great information which comes from your ample research. Please continue informing the EC community about your insights and progress. There's nothing like living through an issue that makes suggestions have real meaning.
One of the most memorable persons we all know who had depression issues was President Lincoln. So severe were his manic depressions, that he would not carry a pocket knife with him for fear he would use it on himself. At least that is in one of the biographies on Abraham. I have four or five.
And to both you and Mama to Many, thank you for your condolences.
I am such an impatient person, and I expect instant recovery after a short time but find that grief is more persistent and perplexing in this case (loss of a mate) than I'd anticipated, even though I knew for years the prognosis of her cancer.
One would think the mind and soul would be ready when the end finally came. Oh not so. Very rarely in my life have I experienced mental confusion. Quite frustrating. So many cross currents seem to be at work with a spousal loss.
I can now better sympathize with those who suffer the death of a husband/wife. It's only been a month so really what should I expect? The "rawness" is still there, and the strange quietness of the house when I'm here alone...always nearly expecting her voice. But knowing that is an impossibility and then the intellectual refusal to talk to her; she is not here. Not here. The thought seems so self contradictory..."she"...not here...in her own home. You see? An impossible demand; a command by the emotion to expect the "normal" but the "normal" is a "goneness" that is mystifying. Then the "brain" says, "no quit that...she is gone." Not just left me...even for another man...that would be easier I think. She is just gone.
The only consolation in a way, is I am convinced that "absence from the body is presence with the Lord" and that can console me when the extremes are working me over...overloading both sensation and reality. The reality. That insatiable reality will not leave me alone. I'm told again and again by wiser than me that time will take the edge off. OK. It's just been a month.
The "reality" is an "un-reality"....and that is so frustrating to deal with. Why can't the mind just control the emotions? It is what it is...now let's move on...would be the mind's command.
So is this depression...or still a bit of shock? The last two months were very hard. She died at home. In my arms. And I'm oddly proud of that. Interesting that I observe my most emotional moments come in recollecting what "we" went through during those final weeks. Is much of grief about "me" and not "her"... ? My mind wants to put it all into an analysis.
I was her "nurse" for about 15 hours a day and her sister the rest. So I saw it all. At the end she could not speak except to blink a "yes" at my questions..."do you want water?" "blink"...then I bring water. She could only walk with help and a walker for her to lean on. And she died taking a tour of the upstairs...she wanted her normal clothes on...and then we "walked" her holding the walker and I holding under her arms. She inspected upstairs bedrooms and then she had to sit down on the walker so I could push her back to her bed. While standing...ready to sit...she made dramatic eye contact ... eyes became like saucers...huge....I'd never seen that before ... in 29 years of marriage. I though somehow I'd hurt her, even though the eyes were not "grimacing" as if in pain ... no facial expression of pain and then, she fell into my arms. She was dead. Instantly.
She left over a period of two weeks, in dramatic downturn. And then died while standing. Just like her. She was a tiger. A very alive person.
So the unreality permeates..."she"... a most alive mate for all these years is not here any longer.
Many who write here to EC are facing dire situations and potential loss of a loved one ... we see that often on posts. And I sometimes have just glossed over the intensity between the lines; the desperation for help.
I will never be so glib; so quick to fire off some "answer" without sensing the hurt...the dawning of loss written in those lines.
So many who write to EC are in pain and are suffering. Those are emotions. So many have suffered for years; for decades.
I cannot fail to consider that suffering when I read their stories. Never again will I just focus on the "answer" without "feeling" their suffering....to some degree to empathize. At the tomb of Lazarus ..."Jesus wept.
5-HTP
★★★★★
WARNING!
I use 5-HTP now after being prescribed pharmaceuticals, and it is at least as effective. The dark secret about meds is that for many of us they don't do much in the first place, and eventually they destroy your liver (which happened to my sister, with many serious health consequences).
My advice for wearning yourself off your meds (which is what I did) is to do it VERY slowly, and introduce 5-HTP as slowly. At least 3 months, until the dosages you are taking are just tiny crumbs. This will keep your side effects down to a bare minimum. Good luck!
Cold Showers
★★★★★
Fasting
★★★★★
Apple Cider Vinegar
★★★★★
Cayenne
★★★★★
Thank you for this!
I have recounted your thoughts to several others today - especially the part about seeing the good.
Negativity is so easy. Your analogy of looking for the color blue was perfect. Being positive or negative is a habit.
Thanks again!
~Mama to Many~
Exercise, Omega 3, Sauna
★★★★★
1. Exercise, especially intense aerobic exercise or weightlifting.
2. High-quality canned tuna (due to the fish oils). If/when I get down just having a bit here and there can perk me up.
3. Sauna. It's difficult to be depressed when you sweat it all out. Also gives you time to meditate and get into a better mindspace.
4. "Doing" rather than thinking. For example, trying to get involved in a tasks at home or at work that keep your mind off things. Decluttering, cleaning, gardening, etc. Anything other than negative thought patterns.
St John's Wort
★★★★★
There are lots of reputable brands available. Many people take 300 mg three times a day and for some it takes a few weeks to start working. For me, SJW is as powerful as any RX antidepressant.
5-HTP
Multiple Remedies
Depression is a multi-faceted problem. You need to treat it on three levels: physical, psychological, and environmental. There are 4 books that have been key to me on this journey. 2 I will mention here. The first is "Perfect Health" by Deepak Chopra, which introduced me to the life-changing practice of Ayurveda. The second book, my holy grail that I give to everyone I know who has depression, is "The Chemistry of Joy", which balances Eastern/Western methods for a truly holistic method of treatment.
Physical - If you want to kick depression, prepare to put in a tremendous effort and to make a lot of lifestyle changes. The two things that have helped me the most is cleaning up my diet and getting regular exercise. I switched to eating whole, natural foods. I cook my own meals, and if it has something in it I can't pronounce, I don't eat it. I eat lots of serotonin-producing foods (meats, eggs, cheeses). I only use all-natural cosmetics, cleaning products, laundry products, deodorants, shampoos, etc - NO CHEMICALS! Supplements: 5-HTP was initially instrumental in getting me back on track, but after 2 years I had to stop using it because it gave me irregular heartbeats and chest pain. Magnesium supplementation (or epsom salt baths) are also really wonderful for curbing depression and anxiety. I have had the best results using ionic magnesium citriate. Vitamin B supplementation is also very helpful. Get as much fresh air and sunshine as possible and aim to get exercise at least 5x week. Drink 8 glasses of water every day. Yoga, meditation, cardio workouts, and reiki are also miraculous for depression. Be gentle with yourself. Do a self-massage with warm oil everyday, morning and night, with an oil that is suited to your "dosha" (ayurvedic type). For a quick "boost", ACV helps (as others have said here), or I make a shake with bananas, milk and raw cacao powder. If you are smoking, drinking, or using drugs, you need to cease use before you can start really healing yourself.
Psychological - One cause of depression is a pattern of negative thinking, usually learned in childhood. Did your parents, siblings, or friends tell you or make you feel like you were never good enough? Were you ever verbally or physically abused? Were you teased? Did you experience trauma in your early life? You may not realize it, but you may be talking to yourself the way that THEY talked to you - "I'm not good enough", "I can't do this", "I'll never have... " If this sounds like you, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) will help greatly. You can do this with a therapist or do it yourself, but please note this is not an easy task and you will need to put in effort everyday to re-train yourself out of this kind of thinking. My therapist recommended the book "The Feeling Good Workbook" and I still use the lessons everyday. Another book along the same lines is "Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay - a good book on positive self talk. Be thankful for the good things in your life. Also, having a spiritual practice (religious, or even something like yoga, which balances the spiritual with the physical), helps us put everything in perspective.
Environmental - Have a support network. When people are depressed, they tend to isolate themselves from family and friends. As much as you don't want to go out and do things, force yourself to do them. Let people know what you are going through. Take one day at a time. Join a support group. Surround yourself with positive, loving, people. Turn off the news. Get rid of the "toxic" people, influences, and habits in your life. Your parents, your friends, and your family may have hurt you. Maybe they were once victims themselves - forgive them. And above all, remember that you are not alone and you deserve to be happy!
If you have tried everything and you still are struggling with depression, please seek help from a trained psychologist or counselor. I know what a dark, awful place depression can be and you don't want to be there alone. While I think that lifestyle changes and CBT can help most people, if this doesn't help you, medication might be life-saving. Your life is too precious to spend in pain.
I wish you good luck on your journey... Xoxo
★★★★★
Cold Showers
★★★★★
Rhodiola
★★★★★
Cold Showers
★★★★★
Proper Mental Diet
If one doesn't get a result - or, rather, doesn't get the dramatic result others seem to get with regard to skin cancers, warts and moles - they're often advised to sprinkle baking soda on their oil patch which seems to increase the effect.
Which makes sense as both are reactive and particularly to one another - one being acidic and the other alkaline - which means when the O3 fatty acid meets the O3 baking soda, BOOM! An overwhelming army of oxygen carried in on a tsunami of penetrating castor oil! POOF!
I'm not sure about mixing a salve of them. Although, I suppose, the oxygen produced might be trapped by the oil if you were quick about it but, I think sprinkling it on a castor oil pack just prior to application would be more effective as even just mixing the two together is going to provide escape for most of the oxygen produced, as such reactions are so fast.
Even so...I THINK one could even make an effective, alternative OLIVE oil pack. With its O2 fatty acids, if one sprinkled IT with baking soda with its own O3 arrangement...there may not be as MUCH oxygen generated, perhaps, but still quite a bit and olive oil penetrates pretty well...could be useful in a pinch!
Dietary Changes
★★★★★
I had major depressive disorder from age 4 until age 26. I'm 41 now, no problems with it. I was so bad I would have to snap my wrists with a rubber band to keep my thoughts from cascading downwards and had to go inpatient a number of times.
At age 19, I began a yoga teacher training program. I began a slow turn to vegetarianism because of a book I read to help migraines. When I did this, 75% of my MDD lifted, and my mind cleared up for the first time since I could remember. I even tried to go back and immediately the depression set in along with a newfound anxiety. That's when I committed to full vegetarianism.
It wasn't a cure-all, though, and I have to say the truth that I found a higher power that loved me and I felt it express very strongly to me. Once during a time period of self-harm I said no one loves me and I just clearly felt a strong response that he loved me. In that moment, I committed never to self harm again but it took time to get away from music that was always in lack. Always missing something. I had to turn to music that was talking about gaining and positive ideas.
I was still struggling with the MDD, but I began to respect myself and say that I would not be in a relationship with someone who did not love me. Therefore, no more intimate relations with those who are not truly wanting to be with me. This change probably brought me to 80% without major depressive disorder and kept me from going under water emotionally. I joined a program for that.
Once I found out that I had a learned eating disorder, and went into treatment with a nutritionist who balanced my food, and began to work on the reasons behind it, I would say that my major depressive disorder was gone at 100%. For whatever reason, the consistent nutrition at certain times unlocked the key to my major depressive disorder it was like I was saying that I deserve to have food and I deserved to have life. I also had to work on getting out of other people's business and began attending a program for that. I can only control what I do but of course one has to set up boundaries for things that are wrong. (I guess the best way to summarize that is that I learned how to interact with people in my life or family in a way that set up boundaries).
I have not had a problem since maintaining these changes and I'm super lucky and wanted to share with others.
