Dave (Fountain Inn, Sc) on 10/18/2013

In re: Irritability

What a great question and also a great confession.

You've taken the first BIG step in getting control of the problem and that is self recognition. That honesty opens the way for a solution.

1. Is the problem of irritability lifelong or has it worsened in the last few years? If it has worsened in the last five years, then it is at least partially caused by fatigue. Your adrenal system is depleted and as such the whole endocrine system is impacted. With hormones out of balance you literally cannot control you reactions. A police officer can easily become endocrine impacted in 15 years. If a male, he should get testosterone supplements AND adrenal glandular pills. A mother who is going to school at night and at the same time is seeing marriage problems, needs an endocrine panel test. She will definitely need adrenal glandular, and maybe thyroid supplements etc.

2. Next in importance of depletion: Magnesium. I am an advocate of Epsom salts baths and oral supplementation of magnesium. Heat up two cups of ESalts in hot water on stove. Then run a very warm bath and pour dissolved salts into bath water. Soak for twenty minutes. Repeat every other day for at least a total of three. In the "old days" our great grand mothers would comment upon encountering an irritated person, "He needs his salts. " That mean the irritated person needed his Epsom salts/ magnesium baths. The transformation can be remarkable. In just a week, you can go from a mad man to a happy and mellow person. The herb valerian is also a help, not only in sleeping but drink it during the day to just "chill."

3. Consider your "situation" in life. If you are living under extreme strain then consider your "life situation. " Example: In my office a few weeks ago I had a couple I was counseling with. In their late twenties their lives had been filled with drama. Both had come from previous marriages and one had maxed out the family credit cards... Not on necessities. I instructed them as follows: "Place a sign on your refrigerator that says, 'I will not blame you and I will not blame myself. ' " Next I offered them a one hundred dollar prize if they would do the following for only five days: After supper they would turn off ALL electronics in the house that created "noise. " For one hour they would sit in their living room and read or just talk. But the talking had to be positive with no negative about anything. They didn't have to talk. They were to try to just enjoy each other's company... even if no words were exchanged.

I have found an amazing relationship between ambient anger... and electronic noise. There must be times of peace... quietness when the spirit can rest. Children can be trained to love such times... when the parents aren't screaming at the kids to be quiet and someone turns the TV even louder to over come the screaming.

The couple I counseled with could not even complete the second night of "one hour of peace."

4. Irritability is almost always associated with lack of exercise. Not exercising at the blare of rock music at the gym. I mean a thirty minute walk in the evening. I find when I walk alone at night I pray for almost the whole time. I come back into the house refreshed and happy.

5. Memorize and repeat: "Be anxious for nothing (don't be anxious about anything), but by prayer and supplication make your requests known unto God. " And speaking of God, if you are a Christian, really if I am exploding in "fits" then I ask myself, "Now would the Lord approve of screaming at that driver like I just did? I then breathe deeply and let my mind relax and chest muscles and shoulders relax, and ask Him to forgive me and fill me anew with His Spirit. " There's nothing like BEING forgiven that lets me forgive myself. And irritation can be based on... Anger at myself even more than anger at others or circumstances. The Christian cannot be controlled by circumstances but actually "give thanks in all things, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. " My irritation/anger level vanishes when I "reckon" that truth as a reality in me. After all, if I am His, and I am, then the responsibility is on Him to take care of me and deal with the problems thrown at me and all I have to do is do all I can, and let him make my work.... Work. Blessed rest. It is paradoxically the "work" of faith.

Irritation/anger/prejudice/frustration/pride...it all vanishes. "I must decrease, He must increase.