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Seeking Remedies for Angry Outbursts in 11 Year Old Girl

Posted By Shanistone (Kansas City, Missouri) on 08/18/2015

I have an 11 year old granddaughter who has anger outbursts when she doesn't get her way. She has never done this around me, but her family says she makes things pretty bad around the house and has screamed, hit or even tried to bite if she gets mad. When her mother was pregnant, her doctor had her continue taking an anti-depressant, and I think she also smoked. I am certain she has some type of processing disorder, maybe even on the spectrum. She is very smart and social, and such a sweetheart every time I have been with her, which is often, but an example that I can give is she hates getting her hair combed (she has lots of mats & tangles) and when her mother or older sister have tried to work on it, she has a fit and no one can get it done. Is there something that we can give her at times when we know she is going to have this type of behavior? I am worried she will just get worse as she is in puberty and things could get really bad if we can't find a remedy to help her stay calm.

Replied by Joy (Thailand) on 08/18/2015

hi Shanistone, your post was interesting to read and I just felt sorry for this young girl, sounds like she is really frustrated and unhappy with something going on in her life. You say she is 11 years old why would she need mum or her sister to comb her hair? I understand she probably looks a mess, but at the stage in her life maybe she just wants to rebel with knotty and tangled hair, maybe if someone purchased a "Tangleteaser" comb this would help her. Obviously her diet should be watched etc, but she sounds to be in need of someone who she could confide in and you may well be that person as you say that you have never witnessed these tantrums, perhaps she just needs some special attention for herself. I wish you and your granddaughter good luck. I'm sure all will be well.

Replied by Nattakit (Bangkok, Thailand) on 08/18/2015

Please research on iodine. She may suffer from iodine deficiency which cause mood swing. The Iodine Project website is very resourceful and can help you understand other relevant symptoms.

Replied by Timh (Ky) on 08/19/2015

S: The neurotransmitter amino 5-HTP looks promising here. 25mg at supper plus a good health-food store brand Multivitamin/mineral supplement for children.

Omega 3 Fatty Acids like Fish, Krill, and Flax Oil as a supplement or as food is very important for the nervous system. Regular servings of Broccoli, Brussel Sprouts, or Cabbage are very important to protect the body from estrogen mimicking chemicals found in our modern environment which cause early puberty in girls w/ the extreme behaviors they express.

A hot bath w/ 1/4 cup Epsom Salts 1x per wk will calm the nerves and improve sleep.

Healing music tones or harmonics are particularly effective for neurological disorders because they force adulterated brain chemistry back into harmony w/ specially designed frequencies. Search YouTube for "relaxing" or "calming" or "sleep inducing" beats. Listen to any number of different tracts for best results w/ headphones in bed just before going to sleep.

Replied by Susan (Ct, Usa) on 08/19/2015

Hi Shanistone,

I would make sure your granddaughter is getting enough exercise every day. This may be a simple case of not getting enough running around time. Children really need a lot of that and less time on their mobile phones. Exercise will help balance her brain chemistry. Exercise and magnesium supplement like Calm or an epsom salts bath. Best of luck!

Replied by Mama To Many (Tennessee) on 08/19/2015

Dear Shanistone,

You have gotten many great suggestions. I agree with the others that magnesium in some form is a must.

If she likes Chamomile or Sleepytime tea, both are calming and can be taken any time of day.

Some children react strongly to MSG, food dyes, and high fructose corn syrup and sugar. Reducing these as much as possible may help her over all and could help this specific issue. I have one child in particular that reacts to food dyes. (He is already a high energy guy, and food dye pumps him up all the more! )

Many television shows and video games contain violence. These things do affect behavior of children.

If her mom has the extra stress of being a single mom, working mom, etc, she may need some extra support herself. (Nearly all moms do! ) There may be parenting support groups or classes in the community that would help her to help her child at home.

If your granddaugther is not overly busy, some organized sport may be helpful to her. The exercise would be good. Alternately, some kind of Martial Arts may be helpful for improving self-discipline among other things.

Let us know how it goes for her!

~Mama to Many~

Replied by Sandhya (Maui) on 08/23/2015

My question to you is did this child ever hit her head.....especially front or back? Sounds like her outbursts are from a brain concussion..... did not have to be traumatic..... a fall would have done it. Does it come on suddenly and then the outburst leave or calm down in around 15 or 20 minutes? The frontal lobe on the left side is where our anger is controlled and by hitting the head the person has a low level of tolerance. This may also be why her scalp is so sensitive as well. Check out Brain State Technology sessions for helping with this as it corrects neural pathways. Check out amino acids as well to help with moods.... Dr Julie Ross has some good books. Good luck.

Replied by Dave (Fountain Inn, SC) on 08/24/2015

To Snadhya,

Re.... the out of control 11 year old;

Sometimes our instincts are to look at substances one might take for calmness...like valerian. And there are lots of things in the herb class that can be calmers.

But maybe the parents should consider the methods used in the wonderful Reality TV Show: The Nanny. Episode after episode, this wonderful lady brings a complete change of behavior to "out of control" home situations. The fault is almost always a parent or parents who do not know how to discipline in a firm and direct way. It is a GREAT show. So....before medicating the 11 year old, maybe consider watching a few episodes of a "behavior modification" approach.

Replied by Steve (Nevada) on 08/24/2015

There are a few good supplements that may be helpful for anger such as magnesium/natural calm or valerian root to calm her. EFT (emotional freedom technique) is a great tool for reducing anger. Lots of free youtube videos available to learn EFT.

Replied by Timh (Ky) on 08/25/2015

As an addition to Dave's good advise concerning the behaviorist approach, I had a psychology professor that had just published a book on parenting titled SOS: Help For Parents. It was a very simple or basic behavior approach to "child management". Don't know if it's still in print and I gave away all my copies, but I do recall the two most important and fundamental lessons, that is ---Always punish bad behavior quickly, and Always reward good behavior quickly.

Replied by Shifra (Boston) on 08/04/2017

I would question the word punishment and reward. Yes, set limits but I do not believe punishment is ever a goid solution. You may get your kid to do what you want but w bad repurcussions. Maybe interrupt it by clapping your hands hard and telling them to stop. I did this once when I saw a woman strangling another woman. I clapped hard and yelled for her to get her hands offf of her. It worked. Perhaps allowing them to get out emotions in s non violent way. Both firmness and love.

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