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Advice needed on conceiving over 50

Posted By Rumo (Montpellier, France) on 09/20/2011

Dear Ted,

I'm a 52 year old woman and feel healthy and look in my 30's according most people. I am still menstruating. My new husband and I would like to have a baby and I am wondering if there is anything we can do to increase our chances.

I had an abortion decades ago for specific reasons and years later I had an ectopic pregnancy.

Finally, with my soulmate I would love to have a child. Any advice?

Replied by Francisca (Michelbach-le-bas, Alsace, France) on 09/21/2011

Rumo, I hope you thought this through! Maybe I shouldn't say a thing but I feel that I have to, please don't take this the wrong way. I am only slightly older than you are and to be honest, I wouldn't consider having a child at this age. True, I have three children but none of which have any contact with me. Like you I am now in a stable, loving relationship, maybe for the first time in my life and it is true that we could give a child a loving home. If the common sense wasn't there maybe we would think about it but we don't! Basically although I put three children in the world I didn't see them grow up (long story) and if I had met my husband 10 years ago I might have considered having one more. Like you I also look many years younger than my age.

One side of the story is your wish to have a baby but the other side is the child who, even if you now look very young, will have a mother or possibly parents as old or older than many children's grandparents. This may not seem like a problem to you now but I saw my youngest brother growing up with parents in their 40's, mortified every time people thought that they were is grandparents. Children mostly don't enjoy being different. And what seems a romantic dream right now might well result in a nightmare as you realise that after all a child requires a lot of energy and patience. Soon you will be going through the menopause and even if you blessed with a very comfortable one (which you don't know) it might be difficult to combine with the daily demands of a small child.

You know, I understand your wish better than you might think, romantic dreams of a beautiful baby cross my mind now and then but in the end I praise myself lucky because we now have all the freedom in the world. There are a lot of very old mothers around nowadays (older than you) but their stories do not always have a happy end. Sorry that I can't support you but please think about it, which I suppose you have but don't let your decision be clouded by romantic notions that may not exist! Also consider that at our age we have a lot more chance to have a handicapped child, could you cope with that? And although everybody can die young will you be there to see your child grow up? Will you cope on your own if your husband is not there anymore? Not nice thoughts but real thoughts nevertheless! In case you go on with your plans of course I wish you all the best!

Replied by Oscar (Syracuse, New York, Usa) on 09/21/2011

No advice, only that you are a rare woman to be still menstruating at your age. If you want that child, GO FOR IT. My very best wishes for you and your new husband and the new child. Please let the forum know how this all goes. We all wish you well I am sure....Oscar

Replied by Sasha (Chicago, Il) on 09/21/2011

I say go for it if you really want it. But you have to get checks done because good eggs will be less available and you have to watch for some genetic diseases that some can be screened for. I would take in consideration what Fran said but if you have lots of loving and caring family and relatives around you who can step in if needed then more power to you. In Westernized countries, people are getting to alternative lifestyles. Heck even gay marriage is getting legalized in places, so if other kids can accept some classmates have two same sexed parents then they can accept a classmate with an older mommy. But since you look in your 30s, people might not even question. Lets say you live an average life span of 78 to 80, as long as you take care of yourself and have fate on your side, your kid will be over 21 and able to fend for him or herself if given a good upbringing.

I can understand people's reservations but in this day and age, anything is possible, just be prepared for possible challenges. Ted was big on making sure you have enough vitamin C to be able to hold a baby. He is also big on alkalizing for infertility. Think it through and good luck. You can always consider adoptiong as an option too. A nice home is better than a poor or no home.
Http://www.earthclinic.com/cures/infertility.html

Replied by Ari (Atlanta, Ga) on 09/21/2011

Hi Rumo: A friend of mine who had never been pregnant and didn't use birth control got pregnant for the 1st time at age 34 after cooking Dong Quai roots and drinking the tea! Do lots of Fruit and Veggie juice and Definitly LOOK into the Jonas Method of Astro or Cosmic Fertility Cycle! You can Chart your Lunar Fertility Cycle at astro.com for free in their Extended Charts section! Keep Reclaiming your youth... You will need to be energetic for quite a few years still! Also, go take care of some little babies and see how your patience and energy are ( couples who couldn't and have adopted... Sometimes find that they could after all)!

Replied by Carly (Seattle, Wa - Usa) on 09/21/2011

Hi Rumo -

I knew a girl growing up who had older parents, and she had a great childhood. They were at her High School graduation and lived well after she had graduated college. I wish you well on your journey, wherever it takes you.

Re what Oscar said in a prior post...

I am 50, and am now curious as to how many other 50 (or near to, or over 50) year old women on here are still having regular periods.

Mine is like clockwork, and no signs of menopause.

I have had a tubal ligation, back in the early 1980's, so pregnancy is no longer an option for me. Not that I would be up for it at this point though. Lol. My oldest "baby" is 32 now. I had kids young. TOO young some might say. It all worked out well though. We each find our path.

Please keep us posted... Would love to hear how it all goes for you. Best wishes!

Carly

Replied by Debbie (Melbourne, Australia ) on 09/21/2011

I think it is rare these days for a woman to be menstruating at 52 but I don't think it was rare in days past. I think it is our food supply and lack of nutrients that stops it.

I got my FSH down from 15 to 3.67 (and that is soo good as the lower the better) by drinking wheatgrass juice. It took 3 months and it was going down more each month. Also my libido returned at the same time so I think nutrients play a big part. I was taking both wheatgrass powder and fresh juice. The juice 1oz 2-3 times a week.

Replied by Lara (Washington, Dc) on 10/31/2011

Ruma, if you are really keen, I would suggest trying the Fertilaid program on their website--it's a fantastic, results-yielding supplement with vitamins and minerals and some Chinese herbs 3 times a day, for both partners, plus work on building healthy eggs and sperm with a healthy plant-based diet, lots of green juice, orange juice, salads, etc. For at least 4 months--it takes that long to build healthy follicles--see Fern Reiss' book The Infertility Diet--it's detailed and very helpful. Eat walnuts, sunflower seeds, almonds, drink almond milk--there's lots of food advice in there. Also exercise daily and try yoga to massage your organs internally. Acupuncture could also help, and just work toward a low-stress lifestyle while you are trying. Good luck with everything!!!

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