HisJewel (New York) on 08/14/2021

I want to share my remedies for "Dealing with Hurt"

My mother was an amazing woman. She dealt with many hurts, and blows from close friends, family and children. She was always willing and ready to forgive, but she had a problem letting it go. She would retell the story; this in my experience seems to keep the wound open. One of the first things I do is stop the replay. I usually do this by singing. I might pull out the Good Book, or if hurtful thoughts persist, I may look at a movie or simply switch to a more happy thought.

I learned to ask the Lord to help me let it go. I try to remember a better time in my communication with that person and start from there. However I do Not purposely visit them if I know they are harmful or don't like me. I want to help them stay in a right attitude. I have learned to say positive things about myself from the word of God, "He will never leave us (me) nor forsake us".

Here are some hurts my mother carried. I will give these people names. They were more than friends they were from her church family; they also lived in the same neighborhood.

Mother and Lola went to visit Angela, all were around 60 years of age. Perhaps Angela was not well, I don't remember. Or maybe it was just an excuse for a meeting. Anyway, while my mother and Lola was visiting Angela, as some point my mother walked in the room where Lola and Angela's husband was ending a conversation. What they did not realize was my mother had a hearing problem. And what she saw was a friend just talking to a friend's husband.

Anyway, when Lola got to church that Sunday, she began to tell some of the members that my mother was spreading a lie about her and Angela's husband. Two seniors approached mother to tell her how shocked that she was spreading this story.

Well, this was the first my mother had heard it. Lola had spread gossip about herself and blamed mom.

Even though she was hurt at what Lola had done and said, she seemed more hurt that some people believed Lola and came to chastise mother.

What do you do when the acid of hurt is building up in your stomach? Mother would get nauseous and sick behind such hurts. Alka Seltzer was her friend in those days, but she did have a natural healing method, love.

Her method was to heap more love on you. It seems as if she was saying this is what you should have done. It turned out that as Lola got older her sight got very bad, mother was there for her when she asked her.

When we were older, my mother told us how when we had to leave our home because the building was condemned, she thought to stay with her married sister, but her brother in-law put her and her five children out in the night. She became the only one he could tell his troubles to when he was down and out.

If anyone owed my mother anything she appreciated it if they gave it back, but she did not make a habit of asking for it back. Money was always coming to her. I was like, I want that anointing! Her method for dealing with hurt was flooding you with love.

I have this saying, "Love heals itself and then it turns around and heals the one who wounded it."

Remember: do not treasure hurt, do not hold it close to you, do not protect it, release it, cancel the charges so you can enjoy life fullest.

To those of you who don't mind divulging your secret of how you successfully deal or dealt with hurt please chime in.

Thank you,

HisJewel

Replied By Charity (faithville, Us) on 08/16/2021

That would be interesting. My mother was so broken from her own trauma that none of her 5 kids felt safe around her. She rarely hugged us as children. She took care of our physical health . Hugs from my father were dangerous and other relatives were unsafe. I found a rare flu shot in April 82 and met this lady that opened this allergy clinic and she hugged me and it was so awkward. I had never been hugged just to be hugged. I gave her a cross stitch I made, a hug is worth a thousand words. We are still friends almost 40 yrs later. I worked for her and we met up on many occasions. My daughter played some of the music at her daughter's wedding. I hugged my kids a lot and spent lots of time talking to them and taking walks with them. I would say that all relationships have ins and outs of close times and transitions and you can't put expectations on people or they will disappoint you. You have to truly love yourself to truly share love with others. Love others as you love yourself. Most people are hard on themselves and that projects onto those around them. You were blessed to have a hugging mother. blessings, charity