Posted by Yara (Bogota) on 03/23/2014
This is my testimony on dealing with a partner who is suffering from HS. Very long but I just needed to write this. I hope someone will find it useful.
My boyfriend and I started dating 1 year ago, we actually did not date but met and started living together almost right away, it was love at first sight and we haven't been apart ever since. Once we first started, as with every relationship, hands all over the place, sex 5-6 times a day, it was crazy, we both work from home, so we spent pretty much every minute of every day together. He always told me how he loved my flawless skin and how amazed he was because of it, I never quite understood that, he also never took his shirt off, not even when the lights were off... I never made a big deal out of it, I just found it strange. Three months into the relationship we stopped having sex, completely, all of the sudden, I could feel he wanting but not trying to. Though I am a very communicative person, at first I never felt like asking him the reason why we stopped having sex, I just questioned myself all day all night, fell rejected, undesired, some days I thought I was being cheated on, some other days after visiting stupid internet forums thinking he was gay. This led to a lot of pain and anguish from my side, sleeping everyday with someone who kisses, caress and loves me, but has not intention of having sex. After three months I finally asked him what was going on and he told me he had a boil on his groin, alright I said, bought him medicines, stupid me trying to cure him. The boil went away, and although I didn't pressure him, the sex wasn't coming back. Six months after that, I told him I couldn't keep on and didn't want to be in a sexless relationship (lots of internet research led me to that conclusion, again with the stupid housewives forums), I wasn't in a rush, nor I was mad or desperate, I was just bored, I told him he could take the time to search for a new place. About a week after that I noticed a boil on his neck, he told me he was getting this boils since he was 17, he is 38 now.
When he first started getting them his parents took him everywhere, the conclusion was always severe acne, and the remedies all kinds of antibiotics or anti-acne treatments, he never got better so they told him he'd just have to live with that. When we met he was on remission (and had been for about a year) 3 months after that he got a boil, and then another, an then another, and then two at a time, and so on. I started reading about his symptoms and came across with the name Hidradenitis Suppurativa on a British Council document, I translated it and read it to him and he could relate 100% with it, I told him to go back to another dermatologist and asked for another diagnosis, he went and again they told him severe acne, and 7 months of accutane, which he has already taken before with nothing but bad side effects and no remission. I was mad, and sad, and started doing my own research, I found this forum, and after reading every single comment on HS Ailments I did my own treatment plan and asked him to give me a month for results.
We live in South America, so there is no such thing as a Food Allergy Test as far as I'm concerned. I am a very enthusiastic amateur baker, and I used to make him a 1 pound cake a week, he is a very enthusiastic amateur barista so he drinks about 3 or 4 cups coffee a day. He is about 150 pounds, not overweight at all, but I could see how our food intake might be affecting his condition.
We stopped eating wheat, sugar and coffee about a week ago, we also lower significantly our consumption of carbs such as potatoes, rice.
He started taking:
Turmeric - internal, one teaspoon a day with warm olive oil
Zinc - internal, one tablet a day
Calendula - internal, infused
Omega 3 - internal, one tablet a day
Tea tree oil - external
We still can't tell if he is getting any results from what we are doing, I just hope he is, it is worth a try. If his life is better mine is a hundred times better. I don't want to see him living in pain, more so if he is trying to hide it from me. There are three more weeks to go, we'll see. He has being living with this disease for 20 years and as much as a part of him the condition is, I want to be with the man I met without it, in remission, enjoying physically and emotionally every second he spent with me.
Hopefully I would post a reply with positive feedback in a few days. Good night and good luck to all of you.